Here we go again.
I love animals. I mean, I really love animals. I blame my mom for this because we always had pets growing up. They fascinate me. Right now we have 3 cats and 2 dogs (a yellow lab and a golden retriever). Their names are Hailie, Luna, Bumper, Abigail, and Buddy. The last 2 are the dogs. Yes I have nicknames for all of them. They usually go something along the lines of Hails, Loon-loon, Bump/bumpyboy, Abbie/Abs, and Budbud. I know a lot of people don't like cats or animals, and personally I don't plan on having animals for a little while after I get out on my own so that I have the freedom not to have to worry about another living creature. My animals really do bring me joy, though. Ask Hillary, we regularly discuss our ridiculous pets. Her dog, good ol' Reiley, is among the "I'm so pathetic that you have to love me" type. We both understand how complex the different personalities of each pet can be. I think I'd actually be a little lonely if I didn't have these crazy animals running around and acting like idiots to amuse me. I even have a website I visit that is just ridiculously cute pictures of animals, mostly baby animals, when I need to be cheered up.
So, this is a list of the different types of animals we've had throughout my life:
-Goldfish
-Parakeet
-Cockatiel
-Turtle
-Hamster
-Guinea Pigs
-Rabbits
-Chinchillas
-Cats
-Dogs
-I feel like I'm missing something........
At one point in my pre/young teen years I think we had the highest number of pets in my life, numbering 8 or 9, if I'm correct. We were THOSE people.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Next Confession
The serious lack of common sense in this world really bothers me. I feel like there's no courtesy or manners left our society. This isn't just attributed to the youth, either. I find MANY older people, middle-aged and older, that just don't seem to understand how to treat another human being.
For this, I am confessing that I wish our schools took a more traditional route and actually had an etiquette class required before students could graduate. In an ideal world this type of lesson would be left to the parents. However, as sad as it is to say, it seems that parental responsibility for the behavior of their children has fallen to the wayside. Schools can't even call the parents of their students anymore because the parents often justify and defend the actions of the children, even if the students were in the wrong. Here is a list of certain things I truly think should be necessary.
- Please and THANK YOU. If someone helps you, perhaps by holding open a door, thank them. THANK THEM. This is a courtesy they are performing for your benefit. They are not your slave. You are not entitled to being treated like royalty. This counts for employees that serve you, whether it be in a retail or restaurant environment. They don't get paid enough for you to treat them like an indentured servant.
-If someone is making plans, it is your responsibility to agree to them or not, and take the proper measures after said agreement. If people are trying to make plans for something, and need a specific number, RSVP and don't stare at the person like they are asking for something that is out of line. This includes going out to eat (because restaurants only have so much room and if you show up without saying you will, you shouldn't be guaranteed a seat just because you feel entitled.) This also means that if you say you'll be somewhere, and can't make it, you should contact someone and let them know you won't be coming. It's a courtesy to the host.
- CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED. We aren't barn animals. People could also learn how to keep elbows off the table, but that transgression is far less offensive.
- When walking, stay to the right. In the mall, at a fair, in the grocery store, on the sidewalk. STAY TO THE RIGHT. I'm sick and tired of people not understanding this. Which leads to...
- If you bump into someone, apologize/SAY EXCUSE ME. I get flabbergasted at the number of times people walk right into me and don't even acknowledge that I exist.
- If you're a man somewhere public, and a woman (ESPECIALLY ELDERLY OR PREGNANT) comes along, be a man and give her your seat. You're a man, get over it.
- If someone is talking to you, LOOK AT THEM. Nothing is ruder than carrying on a conversation and feeling like someone could care less.
- DRIVING ETIQUETTE. Use your blinker. Don't wait till the last minute to apply your brakes(for the benefit of those behind you, and for the benefit of your possibly crushed bumper). Be polite and allow people to merge. Don't cut someone off. Don't drive 10 under or get mad at someone and ride their bumper if they are already doing 5 over. If there was clearly a sign or indication that the lane you are in, especially in construction zones, will be ending, merge before the lane is no longer wide enough to contain your car.
- Your social networking is not as important as the real, live human beings around you. Put down the phones people. It's getting ridiculous. Your facebook won't die, I promise you. If you get an important phone call, apologize to the people you are with, step aside, and take the call but make it brief. If it's not urgent, inform them you are busy and will call them back. This counts if you are dealing with a cashier, a waitress, or friends and family.
This is a brief list... I know there are more but I can't think of them right now. Feel free to comment and leave your own suggestions. :) Please, and thank you.
For this, I am confessing that I wish our schools took a more traditional route and actually had an etiquette class required before students could graduate. In an ideal world this type of lesson would be left to the parents. However, as sad as it is to say, it seems that parental responsibility for the behavior of their children has fallen to the wayside. Schools can't even call the parents of their students anymore because the parents often justify and defend the actions of the children, even if the students were in the wrong. Here is a list of certain things I truly think should be necessary.
- Please and THANK YOU. If someone helps you, perhaps by holding open a door, thank them. THANK THEM. This is a courtesy they are performing for your benefit. They are not your slave. You are not entitled to being treated like royalty. This counts for employees that serve you, whether it be in a retail or restaurant environment. They don't get paid enough for you to treat them like an indentured servant.
-If someone is making plans, it is your responsibility to agree to them or not, and take the proper measures after said agreement. If people are trying to make plans for something, and need a specific number, RSVP and don't stare at the person like they are asking for something that is out of line. This includes going out to eat (because restaurants only have so much room and if you show up without saying you will, you shouldn't be guaranteed a seat just because you feel entitled.) This also means that if you say you'll be somewhere, and can't make it, you should contact someone and let them know you won't be coming. It's a courtesy to the host.
- CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED. We aren't barn animals. People could also learn how to keep elbows off the table, but that transgression is far less offensive.
- When walking, stay to the right. In the mall, at a fair, in the grocery store, on the sidewalk. STAY TO THE RIGHT. I'm sick and tired of people not understanding this. Which leads to...
- If you bump into someone, apologize/SAY EXCUSE ME. I get flabbergasted at the number of times people walk right into me and don't even acknowledge that I exist.
- If you're a man somewhere public, and a woman (ESPECIALLY ELDERLY OR PREGNANT) comes along, be a man and give her your seat. You're a man, get over it.
- If someone is talking to you, LOOK AT THEM. Nothing is ruder than carrying on a conversation and feeling like someone could care less.
- DRIVING ETIQUETTE. Use your blinker. Don't wait till the last minute to apply your brakes(for the benefit of those behind you, and for the benefit of your possibly crushed bumper). Be polite and allow people to merge. Don't cut someone off. Don't drive 10 under or get mad at someone and ride their bumper if they are already doing 5 over. If there was clearly a sign or indication that the lane you are in, especially in construction zones, will be ending, merge before the lane is no longer wide enough to contain your car.
- Your social networking is not as important as the real, live human beings around you. Put down the phones people. It's getting ridiculous. Your facebook won't die, I promise you. If you get an important phone call, apologize to the people you are with, step aside, and take the call but make it brief. If it's not urgent, inform them you are busy and will call them back. This counts if you are dealing with a cashier, a waitress, or friends and family.
This is a brief list... I know there are more but I can't think of them right now. Feel free to comment and leave your own suggestions. :) Please, and thank you.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Confession #2: Musical Talent
I wish I knew how to play the piano.
I'm a singer. Not the best, not the worst, but I have some ability. Mainly I use what God gave me to praise him. I rarely feel closer to my saviour as when I'm singing out to Him. It makes me feel the holy spirit in a unique and special way. Yet I lack certain talents when it comes to instruments. I used to play the flute, and it came naturally to me when I was doing it. I was quite good, the youngest in my school to be given a piccolo, in fact... not that most people would know what that means. I suppose I like to think that I have some natural musical ability. I've tried my hand at guitar but found that hand to be very small. Ask my friends, I have tiny hands. It made it very difficult, if not painful, to play many chords and it wasn't an attempt that lasted very long. These different attempts were never particularly the thing that I wanted to play, anyway.
Ever since I was a little girl I had asked my parents for a piano. The excuse was always either money or space related. Most of the time, the money situation I could understand. In our old house, the one I lived in until age 10, I even understood the space reason. It was small. There was no practical place to put a piano. Then we moved, and I asked again, and my request was thrown in limbo.
For as long as I can remember, piano has probably been my favorite instrument, seconded by the cello. The cello is a random second, I know, but I find it's deep, chorded symphonics to be breathtaking. If you look at my iTunes you might notice just how much of it's contents are filled with piano driven music. It can be beautifully simple or deeply complex. From Spektor to Szpilman, I just love it. I've always wanted to be able to play, but never really learned. My brother was given a very nice professional keyboard by a woman that married into our family at one point, and I wanted to learn to play, but because he already played guitar he was considered the musical one. He gave it to a member of his band, who supposedly would use it to help them write their pop-punk music. This band then kicked him out, and his pride was so hurt that he refused to get the keyboard back. I still have a sore spot over that incident. I just feel like I could learn about myself through the exploration of my musical growth. At this point I can't afford a keyboard but one day, hopefully sooner than later, I hope to acquire one and see if all my dreams from over the years might be realized.
I'm a singer. Not the best, not the worst, but I have some ability. Mainly I use what God gave me to praise him. I rarely feel closer to my saviour as when I'm singing out to Him. It makes me feel the holy spirit in a unique and special way. Yet I lack certain talents when it comes to instruments. I used to play the flute, and it came naturally to me when I was doing it. I was quite good, the youngest in my school to be given a piccolo, in fact... not that most people would know what that means. I suppose I like to think that I have some natural musical ability. I've tried my hand at guitar but found that hand to be very small. Ask my friends, I have tiny hands. It made it very difficult, if not painful, to play many chords and it wasn't an attempt that lasted very long. These different attempts were never particularly the thing that I wanted to play, anyway.
Ever since I was a little girl I had asked my parents for a piano. The excuse was always either money or space related. Most of the time, the money situation I could understand. In our old house, the one I lived in until age 10, I even understood the space reason. It was small. There was no practical place to put a piano. Then we moved, and I asked again, and my request was thrown in limbo.
For as long as I can remember, piano has probably been my favorite instrument, seconded by the cello. The cello is a random second, I know, but I find it's deep, chorded symphonics to be breathtaking. If you look at my iTunes you might notice just how much of it's contents are filled with piano driven music. It can be beautifully simple or deeply complex. From Spektor to Szpilman, I just love it. I've always wanted to be able to play, but never really learned. My brother was given a very nice professional keyboard by a woman that married into our family at one point, and I wanted to learn to play, but because he already played guitar he was considered the musical one. He gave it to a member of his band, who supposedly would use it to help them write their pop-punk music. This band then kicked him out, and his pride was so hurt that he refused to get the keyboard back. I still have a sore spot over that incident. I just feel like I could learn about myself through the exploration of my musical growth. At this point I can't afford a keyboard but one day, hopefully sooner than later, I hope to acquire one and see if all my dreams from over the years might be realized.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Confession #1
I'm a wannabe foodie.
If I had the extra money, I would go to culinary school. I doubt it would ever pan out professionally, but I just love the idea of being able to have unlimited resources and knowledge to whip up culinary greatness.
I actually find cooking to be cathartic. Me and my friends occasionally have nights where we all cook food together, and I love being able to share stuff like that with people I care about. This is making me want to bake another cheesecake haha. Oooo and lasagna from scratch. WHO WANTS A FOOD PARTY?!
Now, just to have my own kitchen so I don't have people breathing down my neck while I get creative.
If I had the extra money, I would go to culinary school. I doubt it would ever pan out professionally, but I just love the idea of being able to have unlimited resources and knowledge to whip up culinary greatness.
I actually find cooking to be cathartic. Me and my friends occasionally have nights where we all cook food together, and I love being able to share stuff like that with people I care about. This is making me want to bake another cheesecake haha. Oooo and lasagna from scratch. WHO WANTS A FOOD PARTY?!
Now, just to have my own kitchen so I don't have people breathing down my neck while I get creative.
Inspiration from my best friend.
So there's this woman I know. She's my girl, my best friend, and someone I wholeheartedly respect. She is the Hillster. She's brilliant, and funny, and completely in love with God. It shows through how she lives her life, including the beauty in how she sees the world. Some of these things are why she has decided to start writing Confession blogs. They are witty and funny, and I feel inspired to follow suit.
Now please, and I mean pretty please, don't expect me to follow in her charming and occasionally facetious footsteps. So soon you, random people that know me and deem me fit to read about, shall see little things that I notice about the world documented via my blog.
I hope you enjoy, and thank you, Hill.
Now please, and I mean pretty please, don't expect me to follow in her charming and occasionally facetious footsteps. So soon you, random people that know me and deem me fit to read about, shall see little things that I notice about the world documented via my blog.
I hope you enjoy, and thank you, Hill.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
God Will Provide
So I realize I am THAT person. The person that grossly neglects her blog. I read others' posts but somehow can never find the motivation to actually talk about my life or my heart.
I think being revealing of myself is a bit unnerving for me. Especially when I feel like all I would do is complain if I did write anything. I have a tendency to try to put on a happy face, which is often a mask.
Last night at Liquid the talk was about masks. We use them to hide our faces because we are doing something illegal, we hide identities because we are shy and want to maintain anonymity like a celebrity, but worst of all we wear a mask of ourselves to hide our true selves and our hearts. I'm guilty.
I'm not where I thought I'd be. I graduated from college. Good. In a few weeks I will have officially been out for a year and STILL haven't found a full time job. I've been attempting to supplement my income with substitute teaching, which is a shotty at best. Let's face it, I'm flat broke. I can't really rely on family for help, either. My father was working in Iraq for about a year and a half as a contractor. Even on what should have been a great income with no more debt under their belts my parents were unable to accumulate any savings, and my father was rushed home under emergency circumstances due to some health issues concerning his heart. He is feeling much better now and has lost a lot of weight so his health is definitely improved, praise God. Except he's unemployed now, too, and unable to seek government assistance because he wasn't working in the United States. After only a few months he is at his wits end in the job market, and suddenly sympathizes with my frustrations of the past year. We will be lucky if we don't lose our house.
I guess you could say I feel defeated. I have student loans and other bills, and eventually will need a new car in the near future because I was driving my father's while he was gone and he has since been driving my brother's truck. Well my brother will be returning to the states, as well, in the next few months so we will be down a vehicle. I knew I might not have a job in 6 months, but an entire year has kind of broken my heart. I'm nickeling and diming everything and don't know how I'm going to make it through January at this point. The worst part is that I have had to miss church functions sometimes because I literally can't afford the gas to get there. I NEVER had problems with money in the past. I was always able to help. Now I feel like something is wrong with me because I can't contribute and people are always asking me to help with things and I just can't. Especially with Christmas coming up, I'm at a loss at how I'm going to pull the holidays off.
I have amazing friends, but I miss being able to do things with them. They all keep going out on these fun adventures and I can't even spare the 10 dollars to do them most of the time. To spare my feelings I'm often not invited if they know I can't afford it, but I still get really sad when I hear something happened and I know why I had to miss it. My boyfriend is better to me than I deserve and definitely helps me and doesn't expect me to pay for anything. His family has pretty much covered the entire cost of his military ball for me that we are attending in a few weeks. I love them, I truly do. I have seen God work through them in so many ways and feel so blessed. At the same time I know that Kyle and I haven't gotten married yet because of our financial situation. He was overseas and able to save up a really good sum of money, but he is determined not to touch it until we have a sustainable income. He had a really good job, but due to some serious glitches in the management he jumped through all kinds of hoops just to not only get the promotion he was promised, but also to get his hours cut. He's not hurting, but he's not really thriving. We have 1 semi-reliable part time income, and one completely unreliable part time income. I was actually just able to test for an administrative position with a local city, but when I walked in there were over 100 people testing for the same job. The test was easy, so I have a feeling the competition will be stiff. Once again I might be overlooked because of my "inexperience." Even if I got this job, it would solve our problems for now, but Kyle and I can't get married now until after his next deployment. He leaves sometime next summer for Afghanistan and we wanted to be married before then, but it probably can't happen for another 2 years now. Not exactly how I had planned things out. I'm heartbroken.
If you made it through this blog, you're amazing. It was long, and depressing, and filled with one big downer after another. I think I needed to finally get it all off my chest and cry it all out. I'm getting desperate and honestly feel like this is God proving to me that he will provide what I need, even if I'm literally surviving by the skin of my teeth right now and scared every second.
I think being revealing of myself is a bit unnerving for me. Especially when I feel like all I would do is complain if I did write anything. I have a tendency to try to put on a happy face, which is often a mask.
Last night at Liquid the talk was about masks. We use them to hide our faces because we are doing something illegal, we hide identities because we are shy and want to maintain anonymity like a celebrity, but worst of all we wear a mask of ourselves to hide our true selves and our hearts. I'm guilty.
I'm not where I thought I'd be. I graduated from college. Good. In a few weeks I will have officially been out for a year and STILL haven't found a full time job. I've been attempting to supplement my income with substitute teaching, which is a shotty at best. Let's face it, I'm flat broke. I can't really rely on family for help, either. My father was working in Iraq for about a year and a half as a contractor. Even on what should have been a great income with no more debt under their belts my parents were unable to accumulate any savings, and my father was rushed home under emergency circumstances due to some health issues concerning his heart. He is feeling much better now and has lost a lot of weight so his health is definitely improved, praise God. Except he's unemployed now, too, and unable to seek government assistance because he wasn't working in the United States. After only a few months he is at his wits end in the job market, and suddenly sympathizes with my frustrations of the past year. We will be lucky if we don't lose our house.
I guess you could say I feel defeated. I have student loans and other bills, and eventually will need a new car in the near future because I was driving my father's while he was gone and he has since been driving my brother's truck. Well my brother will be returning to the states, as well, in the next few months so we will be down a vehicle. I knew I might not have a job in 6 months, but an entire year has kind of broken my heart. I'm nickeling and diming everything and don't know how I'm going to make it through January at this point. The worst part is that I have had to miss church functions sometimes because I literally can't afford the gas to get there. I NEVER had problems with money in the past. I was always able to help. Now I feel like something is wrong with me because I can't contribute and people are always asking me to help with things and I just can't. Especially with Christmas coming up, I'm at a loss at how I'm going to pull the holidays off.
I have amazing friends, but I miss being able to do things with them. They all keep going out on these fun adventures and I can't even spare the 10 dollars to do them most of the time. To spare my feelings I'm often not invited if they know I can't afford it, but I still get really sad when I hear something happened and I know why I had to miss it. My boyfriend is better to me than I deserve and definitely helps me and doesn't expect me to pay for anything. His family has pretty much covered the entire cost of his military ball for me that we are attending in a few weeks. I love them, I truly do. I have seen God work through them in so many ways and feel so blessed. At the same time I know that Kyle and I haven't gotten married yet because of our financial situation. He was overseas and able to save up a really good sum of money, but he is determined not to touch it until we have a sustainable income. He had a really good job, but due to some serious glitches in the management he jumped through all kinds of hoops just to not only get the promotion he was promised, but also to get his hours cut. He's not hurting, but he's not really thriving. We have 1 semi-reliable part time income, and one completely unreliable part time income. I was actually just able to test for an administrative position with a local city, but when I walked in there were over 100 people testing for the same job. The test was easy, so I have a feeling the competition will be stiff. Once again I might be overlooked because of my "inexperience." Even if I got this job, it would solve our problems for now, but Kyle and I can't get married now until after his next deployment. He leaves sometime next summer for Afghanistan and we wanted to be married before then, but it probably can't happen for another 2 years now. Not exactly how I had planned things out. I'm heartbroken.
If you made it through this blog, you're amazing. It was long, and depressing, and filled with one big downer after another. I think I needed to finally get it all off my chest and cry it all out. I'm getting desperate and honestly feel like this is God proving to me that he will provide what I need, even if I'm literally surviving by the skin of my teeth right now and scared every second.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Resurrection
I sit here in my bedroom, the place of my solace, just a few minutes before Easter Sunday. From the age of 18, the age I was when I accepted Christ into my heart, this day has been particularly special for me. Now I remember all the pomp and circumstance accompanying the morning of Jesus' resurrection and the days leading up to it from my childhood. There were bunnies, and eggs to color, and art projects in school, and pastel colored outfits, and kites, we always flew kites on Easter Sunday if the weather permitted. Don't get me wrong, those memories are good memories. Easter was one of the few holidays that I remember being free of fights. What was it that my mother always used to say? "It isn't a holiday in the Tata house if someone's not yelling." Yet Easter was relatively stress free. The weather was finally starting to break and everyone was sighing with relief. Even now it all seems somewhat trivial.
I never understood true beauty until I knew God. I knew what intrigued me, and always felt at peace in nature, but I never really understood why. Now it's so plain to me. I was always calmest surrounded by God's creation, and in nature it felt like he was calling me home, even if I hadn't turned up the volume just yet. Something about grace can bring me so easily to tears. Creation is broken. It has fallen irreparable by human hands leading to death and pain that breaks God's heart. Still he sent His Son, came Himself to this wretched world and did the incomprehensible. What Jesus did for us was so horrifying that his own Father had to turn His face away on the cross as Christ took on the sin of the world. I doubt I could ever take on that kind of responsibility. Jesus was so scared that his own blood vessels ruptured as he sweat blood from his pores. This kind of love is amazing. Not the "wow this taco is amazing" amazing, but the "nothing ever again can compare to the sacrifice and love of that act" amazing. Jesus became the sacrificial lamb to save us, to save me, to save you.
I find it a bit funny how perverted holidays, especially in the U.S., have become. Everything revolves around characters from a bedtime story, commercialism, and our stomachs. It's all pretty sad if you think about it. I never once went to church on Easter Sunday as a child. Not once in a home where we claimed to believe in God and Jesus. Not even on Christmas. To me, the day of Jesus' resurrection is even more important than the celebration of his birth. Easter is considered secondary to Christmas by most people and that breaks my heart. They are both amazing events in God's plan. First he sent His only begotten son to be born, fully human and fully God, destined to die at the hand of betrayal. Then he rose again. Jesus has brought people back from the dead, but eventually they died again. He didn't. He still lives. He still sits at God's side, as the Holy Spirit dwells on earth with us, in us. This makes this day special. I think I'm thankful for the fact that Easter isn't blown so out of proportion. It still has rabbit lore, candy, and eggs sucking it's meaning away, but it's a bit more subdued. I like that I can worship my Lord for what he did for me and not have to worry about whether my family's dinner is going to be a disaster again.
Today I sit at the feet of the Messiah humble and reverent, and grateful for what he had to endure to give me everlasting life.
I never understood true beauty until I knew God. I knew what intrigued me, and always felt at peace in nature, but I never really understood why. Now it's so plain to me. I was always calmest surrounded by God's creation, and in nature it felt like he was calling me home, even if I hadn't turned up the volume just yet. Something about grace can bring me so easily to tears. Creation is broken. It has fallen irreparable by human hands leading to death and pain that breaks God's heart. Still he sent His Son, came Himself to this wretched world and did the incomprehensible. What Jesus did for us was so horrifying that his own Father had to turn His face away on the cross as Christ took on the sin of the world. I doubt I could ever take on that kind of responsibility. Jesus was so scared that his own blood vessels ruptured as he sweat blood from his pores. This kind of love is amazing. Not the "wow this taco is amazing" amazing, but the "nothing ever again can compare to the sacrifice and love of that act" amazing. Jesus became the sacrificial lamb to save us, to save me, to save you.
I find it a bit funny how perverted holidays, especially in the U.S., have become. Everything revolves around characters from a bedtime story, commercialism, and our stomachs. It's all pretty sad if you think about it. I never once went to church on Easter Sunday as a child. Not once in a home where we claimed to believe in God and Jesus. Not even on Christmas. To me, the day of Jesus' resurrection is even more important than the celebration of his birth. Easter is considered secondary to Christmas by most people and that breaks my heart. They are both amazing events in God's plan. First he sent His only begotten son to be born, fully human and fully God, destined to die at the hand of betrayal. Then he rose again. Jesus has brought people back from the dead, but eventually they died again. He didn't. He still lives. He still sits at God's side, as the Holy Spirit dwells on earth with us, in us. This makes this day special. I think I'm thankful for the fact that Easter isn't blown so out of proportion. It still has rabbit lore, candy, and eggs sucking it's meaning away, but it's a bit more subdued. I like that I can worship my Lord for what he did for me and not have to worry about whether my family's dinner is going to be a disaster again.
Today I sit at the feet of the Messiah humble and reverent, and grateful for what he had to endure to give me everlasting life.
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